The Reason
by Neko Oni
Summary: Zabuza x Haku. Haku's love makes Zabuza realize he has a heart afterall.
1. Chapter 1

SUMMARY: Caring for the barely-alive Haku makes Zabuza realize something. He has a heart, after all, and it belongs to Haku.

PAIRINGS: Zabuza x Haku

WARNINGS: yaoi (mxm)

DISCLAIMER: Stands for entire fic. I don't own Naruto. Never have. Never will. -.- Neither do I own "the reason" by Hoobastank

NOTES: This is NOT, I repeat, not, a song fic. Just a fic inspired by a song! Lyrics are from said song

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SEASON OF CHANGE

By Neko Oni

_I've found a reason to show_

_A side of me you didn't know_

_A reason for all that I do_

_And the reason is you_

-"The Reason" By Hoobastank

Numb. He was always numb; he flet nothing, cared for nothing. He'd battled so long, faced death so many times, killed so many, nothing in life could faze him. He had no reactions, no emotions. He was numb. A perfect shinobi.

Not even the boy could touch him, reach his cold heart. The boy was nothing more than a tool, honed to lethal perfection by his careful guidance. Zabuza Momochi was the perfect killer- cold, calculating, brutally efficient, and Haku his perfect tool.

Until the bridge. Until Haku was dead. Then something inside him snapped. The words that little blonde brat from Leaf yelled at him pushed that something out. And Zabuza, ice hearted demon of the mist, shed tears. Then, with damaged arms, he slaughtered all of Gato's men, then Gato himself

He'd been about to give himself over to death, too. He took one last look at Haku; the boy's body shuddered and gasped once, weakly clinging to life. Damn brat, always surprising him. So, Zabuza willed himself to live, too.

Which was how he came to be in a dingy, rented room above a sleezy pawn shop. He was almost fully healed. He pushed himself hard; he had to, to protect Haku.

TBC…

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Ugh, yeah, that was horribly short. This was originally written to be a one-shot, but it's longer than I expected, and it's soo hard to find a decent place to break it off, so it comes out in horrible chunks. -.-

Reviews are always appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

Special shout out to Fox Loves Shinigami. Thanks for reviewing!

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The boy lay in his arms, still hovering near death. He had yet to open his eyes. Zabuza would have lain Haku in the bed, but the boy whimpered and moved around too much, agitating his wounds, when he wasn't in Zabuza's arms.

Haku's shiny, soft raven hair was in a distorted, lumpy, disheveled braid. Zabuza had done that because when loose, it got horribly tangled and got in the way when he bathed Haku or tended his wound. Haku's long, dark lashes stood out against his pale skin; his full, pink lips parted, and chest barely rose as he breathed shallowly. He was naked save for thick bandages on his chest. His slender, supple body was wrapped in a thin cotton sheet to protect him from the late August breeze.

Zabuza sat on the couch, feet propped up on the scratched coffee table. Haku lay sideways in his lap, blanket tucked securely around his thin body. His head lay on Zabuza's strong shoulder; he was curled into his chest. Zabuza laid his head back.

He'd just finished feeding Haku warm milk. The boy's stomach couldn't handle anything else- yesterday, Zabuza tried giving him soup broth and Haku threw it up. So Zabuza was reduced to heating milk on the dinky, two burner, electric stove- the cramped roach home was too cheap for a mircrowave.

Zabuza sighed and looked down at Haku, brushing stray wisps of hair away from his soft, sweet face. He used to be a monster. Never would he have believed he'd ever feel this way about someone. Now, Haku was his moon, his sky. The feelings had taken root in his dead heart and grew so slowly and quietly it took something as dramatic as Haku dying to make him realize them.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

It started the moment he saw the dirty, sad, starving orphan. True, yes, he'd wanted the boy for his blood trait. But it was something else, something in his eyes. They had the same kind of eyes.

Haku had been the perfect student; quick learning, quiet, obedient, and silently anticipating his master's needs. Never did he complain or offer an opinion. He was just a living tool.

It was Haku's smile that started it all. Through all he'd been through, even killing, his soul was still pure and innocent. Haku could smile in joy, cry in sorrow, appreciate a warm, sunny day or a cool rain. Those little things fascinated Zabuza. In complete sadness, Haku could find happiness. The boy was always surprising him, in his own, quiet ways.

(flashback)

Like the time he'd bought Haku that damn pink yukata. Haku had grown and needed new clothes. Zabuza picked most of them; ones that'd be appropriate for training and missions. He had looked over his shoulder to tell Haku to get in line with him, but the boy was staring down at the pink abomination, silently fingering the soft cloth. He'd looked up at his master, eyes beseeching.

A yukata wasn't good for missions, but Haku wanted it badly. If it had been black, brown, dark blue, grey, dark green or even red, then maybe. But pink? Zabuza had sneered. "It's pink."

Haku didn't cry, complain, or pout. He'd just tilted his head to the side, smiled softly,

and replied, "It's mauve." Zabuza had bought the pink monstrosity.

(end flashback)

Haku wasn't loud and boisterous, or silently arrogant and withdrawn. He was silent and serene, like a still, deep pool in a shaded, green glade. He was also soft and sweet. Haku had a different kind of strength; the quiet, resilient kind that let him survive whatever life threw at him with his heart intact. He hadn't turned into a cold hearted fiend like so many shinobi had.

At fifteen, Haku seemed like a child at times to the twenty six year old. Then again, Haku was nowhere as immature as Kakashi's brats. Zabuza supposed it was that innocence, that purity, that drew him to Haku.

(flashback)

Like the time when Haku was younger, Zabuza went on a mission by himself and came across a burn village. Amongst the charred remains and cold ashes, he found a forgotten, singed, stuffed bunny. He'd taken it home for Haku.

(end flashback)

Zabuza raised his head and cracked his neck, then stretched, shifting Haku's weight. It was late; time for bed. Easily, he scooped Haku up then stood up. Haku had always been light, no more than ninety five pounds, but now, well, Zabuza was afraid a breeze would be able to blow him away.

Haku moaned as his chest was jarred, head lolling to the side. His lashes gave a hopeful flutter before he was limp again. Zabuza watched, sighed, then kissed the top of Haku's head. He started for the bedroom, then grabbed Haku's rabbit as an afterthought.

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	4. Chapter 4

Long lashes fluttered open, revealing glassy, dark eyes. Zabuza cupped Haku's soft cheek in his large, rough palm. "About time you woke up." His voice was low and gruff.

The half formed smile faded and lashes lowered. "S-sorry, Z-Zabuza-sama." His soft voice was hoarse, strained.

Zabuza gazed down at Haku. The boy looked so fragile, so weak, stray wisps of hair from his lopsided braid framing his face, his bunny tucked under his chin. Zabuza felt like a jerk. He sat up, rising from the bed. Tears shimmered under Haku's lashes. The guilty feeling only intensified.

He sighed, sat back down, and pulled Haku into his arms. The tears faded and his smile returned. Zabuza didn't feel like such a jerk.

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The sky was a bright, sunny blue dotted with puffy white clouds. Nestled in the trees, birds chirped a greeting to the morning sun. Haku watched the clouds passing over head. "That one looks like a bunny's butt." Haku pointed and giggled, shifting in Zabuza's arms.

Zabuza shifted so he held Haku bridal style, mostly with one arm. Then he casually tossed their clean clothes, towels, and soaps down on a large rock by the pond. "Haku?"

The healing boy tilted his head up. "Zabuza-sama?"

With his free hand, Zabuza cupped Haku's cheek, the lily white skin soft under his calloused hand. Haku leaned into the touch. He started to raise a hand, but gasped, shuddering, as pain twitched and burned through his chest muscles. Due to the location of the wound, and the torn muscles, Haku couldn't yet raise his arms above shoulder level.

He slumped into Zabuza, breathing heavily. Zabuza held him tightly, letting him catch his breath as the pain receded. Zabuza lowered his head and whispered into Haku's pierced ear, warm breath tickling his sensitive skin. "Haku, I want you to walk for me."

Haku's dark eyes flew wide open, glittering with apprehension. He was healing, gradually. It was taking so long because fo the extensive damage to his internal organs. His stamina and strength were gone, muscles weak from disuse. He couldn't even raise his arms above his head. He couldn't do the simplest of tasks- feed himself, bathe, dress- he was completely dependent upon his Zabuza-sama.

As a tool, he was broken, completely useless, yet Zabuza-sama continued to care for him. He wouldn't talk with Haku on the matter, but from the odd looks appearing more and more frequently on his Zabuza-sama's face, Haku knew he was more than a tool. The fight on the bridge made his dreams come true.

(flashback)

He remembered when he first opened his eyes. Zabuza-sama was staring at him in that odd way. Haku's heart had twisted; he was useless now. Zabuza-sama had no use for him, and would now discard him. His life was meaningless, meant nothing now. He should've died. He would've left this world happy- he was of use to his precious Zabuza-sama.

Tears had welled in his eyes as he gazed up at his beloved master for the last time. He was sure Zabuza-sama was going to leave him, now that he was broken. "Haku." His Zabuza-sama hadn't left; instead, he'd wiped away Haku's tears with his rough finger tips.

"I-I'm sorry." He wept. "I-I can't b-be of use to y-you anymore." He broke down crying, falling to pieces and mourning his loss. But Zabuza, instead of leaving, gathered Haku to his warm, strong chest, told Haku to shut up, and let him sob his heart out.

(end flashback)

Tbc…

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Review. You know you want to.


	5. Chapter 5

Haku."

Haku blinked and shook his head. "H-Huh? Z-Zabu-"

"Walk." Haku gasped when he realized what was happening. His thin body slid the length of Zabuza's hard, muscular one. Strong arms wrapped tightly around his waist, supporting him, holding his weight. The grass was cool and springy beneath his bare feet as Zabuza eased Haku's weight onto his own legs. This was the first time Haku had stood since his deadly injury.

Zabuza slid his large hands down Haku's arms. The boy leaned into him for support. He held his hands out, and Haku grasped his indes and ring fingers. He stared down at their hands; Haku's small, slender hands felt fragile in his large, calloused ones. He was sure, if he squeezed his fists hard enough, he could crush every dainty bone.

"Ready?" Haku bit his lower lip and gave a little nod. Zaubza stepped back, making the boy take his own weight. Haku's arms were tense, braced, and he had a death-grip on Zabuza's fingers as he wobbled, struggling to find his balance. Catching himself, lips pressed tightly in determination, he slid one foot forward. Panting, he rested a moment, Zabuza moving with him. He slid the other foot forward. His legs buckled. He winced, ready for the jolt of pain and impact with the hard ground.

Instead, he was back in his master's arms. Zabuza didn't say anything, but he kissed Haku's cheek quickly. He carried him to the water's edge, where he disrobed them then sank into the pond with a naked Haku in his lap. As Zabuza washed their bodies, rough hands ghosting over wet flesh, Haku watched their reflections in the rippling water. There was a swift tug on the lower part of his skull, the tangled raven locks floated about his shoulders. "M-my hair!"

Zabuza shrugged. "Well, braiding it was the only way to keep it from knotting."

Haku was silent for a moment, almost pouting, then he burst into giggles. 'My Zabuza-sama can't braid.' He thought to himself.

Zabuza rolled his eyes then lathered haku's wet hair. Because his hair was long, past his shoulder blades, it was harder to wash and rinse than Zabuza's own short, spiky hair. Haku spluttered when he came up from being dunked, soap and water running down his face. He raised a hand to wipe them away, then gasped sharply as pain lanced through his chest. He fell against Zabuza, water sloshing around them. He leaned against Zabuza's shoulders as his master wiped his face. He smiled up at him in thanks.

Zabuza stared down. Haku's wet hair clung to his sweet face and thin shoulders, his eyes dark and soft, holding secrets of the night, and his pink lips glistened with water. Only Haku could touch his soul like this; only with Haku could he be this new, strange creature who actually cared.

He was by no means a whole new person. He'd never be soft, weak, or caring. His heart wasn't open to the world, and never would be. He was still a cold, callous, and ruthless killer. If he ever became a kage, he'd destroy the world, laughing as it burned. As for Haku, the boy had wormed his way into his cold, black heart, making a nest amongst the ashes. Only when he was with Haku did he feel alive. He still hated humanity, would slaughter them all if he could. But Haku….

Zabuza lowered his head, holding Haku about his slim shoulders, and claimed his lips in a gentle kiss.

OWARI

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Yes, it's over. That's it, the end. So review before you walk away.


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